The final installment in Dodo’s series, where we learn how devastating it all ended up and what the big lesson was he learned about health, fitness and love.
Justice of Zeus?
A few hours later, I say I have to talk to the dean on Monday, for which I’ll go to her faculty, where I graduated from. She says she’d like me to join her lecture at 8 am in the morning, and I don’t refuse. Later on she tells me she told him that she’d see me in school.
– I prefer to be as honest as possible, I am already hiding more from him than I should. He might be there in the morning too, but I don’t think so, because his lecture starts before mine finishes and takes 3 hours straight. Even the idea of introducing you to each other sends chills down my spine anyway.”
Rock Bottom – 12.3.2012
We met at 8 in the morning as planned. Cultural anthropology, one of my favourite subjects of all time. Even though I only self-studied anthropology, it is one of my strongest points. Man did I prove that! Two hours went by not as a lecture, but as a discourse between the professor and me before a naive audience. Except for the moments I got bored and whispered into her ears.
– I wish we lived a couple of centuries ago.
– I’d challenge my opponent to a duel.
– You’re crazy!
– Don’t you think I lack courtesy. I’d give him the first chance to shoot. Lermontov died in a duel at 26, and he was a gentle guy.
– I know you are gentle. You’re still crazy.
Well, after the lecture I had to speak to the dean. When I was back, she said that one of her classmates had told her I was the most fantastic person she’d ever seen at school and asked if I was her boyfriend. “I am one of the most fantastic people in the whole country!” I said, and “that’s what I thought when she said that to me,” she replied, with her regular shy smile.
We were heading the canteen when a guy from her boyfriend’s class saw her and informed us that their lecture was cancelled. When she told me the guy was one of her few close friends, I figured she hadn’t noticed the real issue and was thinking, “U-uhh, he must be soon down here if the lecture’s been cancelled.” I didn’t care, though, and I had barely got us food when we finally came across him, and a cold hand shake followed. Right there and then I saw before me a regular college kid, no rival for me. I was telling myself that we turned evolution so upside down that decisions could not be explained under certain logical reasons anymore. All narcissist urges in me were provoked, I felt superior. “What is she even being so hesitant about?”
But it was the first choking moment in our situation. The sandwich turned into a stone in my throat, I spilled my drink after I left.
Later on she apologized and said she felt ashamed for having had to introducing us to each other.
“I didn’t know how to handle this, but I think this decision will spare me greater internal peace,” she said the next day, a fine Tuesday morning, their off day, and went to see him at his home, it was over for us.
You go to see her at the same night. You tell her that you respect her decision, and that your feelings aren’t conditional, so she’ll have you by her side when she needs. She goes “of course, there is no reason why we can’t be how we’ve been for a year, and I am sorry for all the pain I’ve caused. You mean a lot to me and even this midnight visit means a lot to me.”
For two days she is as nice as she can genuinely be. She keeps checking to make sure you’re able to move on, and maybe she also talks to you out of habit. As a last gesture, you send her a very authentic, rolled-up note in an antique box through a friend she is not acquainted with. She calls you in the middle of the night, says that she’s recognized your handwriting and she’s feeling like a queen reached by a courier. The next morning (12.07.2012), she thanks again and says it is all beautiful.
Then you get a call.
– Stop intervening! I’m having a relationship with her and it’s been 12 months. We’re so in love with each other that it is impossible for us to consider anyone else that way. What are all those notes and poems about? She made her choice and you have no right to do this!
You’re so confident and cool.
– Hey, kiddo. You’re being unfair. What do you know about me, or me and her for that matter? She’s appreciated my interest in her for months. In fact, I’ve done everything to avoid intervening. The fact that not she but you call me proves something. She thanked me for everything two hours ago. I’m not trying to change her decision, but give me some stretch for last gestures.
– It was my decision to talk to you. If it’s what will make you stop, I can have her speak to you the same way.
– Sure you can. But it’s not going to be her free will. She’ll do it only to settle things with you.
The boy hangs up, an hour later she calls.
– I’d like to tell you something.
– I can guess what.
– What is it?
– That you’ve figured it wouldn’t be so easy to keep your relationship going if we stayed friends like we meant to.
– Something along those lines. I don’t want to talk to you anymore. I don’t want to see you, I don’t want your poetry. It is my FREE WILL, you know. I don’t want you to talk to him again, I don’t want you to encounter us again, I didn’t want him to call you and I don’t want things to get more messed up. I even regret meeting you.
– Shiiiii… ghagghagbababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarr!
A truly (s)(c)ho(c)king moment. You have handed her the steering wheel of your relationship to eventually hear she regrets meeting you. Then she blocks you in every possible way on the internet, making you feel like a sick, despised man, a pervert, a leper.
“Fat Loss Secrets”
I’ve had 3 miniature meals in ten days. I feel my abs already.
People get surprised when I say I lost 90 pounds of fat once. In industrial terms, I have “exposed” my “fat loss secrets” hundreds of times and helped many people. Types of cardio, diet schedules, solid strength training programs, physiology behind it and all that stuff. All fine and dandy, but it’s only lately that I confessed this to myself and I decided to come clean: The real reason was the bitter end of my 3 year-long relationship, which means I lost 30 pounds for each year I’d spent in the relationship, 2.5 lbs per month. Not bad, eh?
I am there again. I am not that bad this time, you can count on me that I’m sober and sane. Ironically, it was my ex-girlfriend who got me thinking about writing this article. I called her to share my feelings.
– I could finally cry over someone since you left me. Should I thank her for that?
When you suffer from love, you turn into a plant, or an angel. No need for eating, no sexual urge, no excitement for success, no material needs. In fact, my body’s been refusing food lately, people who don’t know about the story behind think that I’m suffering from eating disorders (they heard that I was getting back on track for 15 something lbs extra I had gained). That’s what I tell her.
– You are having an eating disorder due to trauma, my dear. Hugs for you.
I always loved her analytical thinking.
Lessons To Take Home
- Stay away from taken girls, even if they say they’ve broken up.
- Love apparently causes eating disorders. Beware.
- Stay single for 2 years, think out of the box and you’ll be a feminist, then get intimate with a woman and you’ll agree with all Nietzsche said about them.
No, that is me being cynic. I should put it in a different way: Women in general and women I’ve been with are two different stories. Just like me in general and me in a relationship are two binary oppositions.
In this post I shared my other side, which surprises people because it looks like I know much more than that, the side of which I’m ashamed. Next time I shall check out open relationships and test their possible fattening effects, haha. Before that, I need problems to get over. Last time I was there, my teeth and hair got weaker, you don’t want that to happen to you. I don’t want that to happen to any of us, so my next post shall be dedicated to eating disorders.
Fall in love, not obsession.