evilcyber.com
  • Home
  • Workouts
    • Home Workout Plans
    • How To Build Muscle
    • How To Get Toned
    • Home Workout Equipment
    • Advanced Workout Topics
    • Other Workout Programs
    • Important Workout Lingo
    • Recommendable Books
  • Cardio
    • What Is Cardio?
    • How To Start Cardio
    • Home Cardio Exercises
    • Cardio Or Weights First?
    • Best Time For Cardio
    • Does Cardio Burn Muscle?
    • Cardio On Empty Stomach?
    • HIIT – Doing It Right
    • Cross-Training
  • Weight Loss
    • The Secret To Weight Loss
    • Gain Muscle And Lose Fat?
    • Exercise And Weight Loss
    • Diet Reviews
    • Weight Loss Myths
    • Weight Loss Supplements
  • Nutrition
    • Healthy Nutrition Explained
    • Bodybuilding Nutrition
    • What Are Carbohydrates?
    • What Is Fat?
    • What Is Protein?
    • Nutrition For Cardio
    • Marathon Nutrition
    • Exercise On Low Carb
  • Supplements
    • 3 Supplements That Work
    • BCAA Supplements
    • Beta-Alanine
    • Creatine
    • Dextrose Supplements
    • Energy Shots
    • Make Your Own Weight Gainer
    • Multivitamins
    • NAC
    • Testosterone-Boosters
  • The Rest

Losing Weight

You Lost Weight And People Hate You?

You Lost Weight And People Hate You?

  • June 11, 2012 4:31 pm
  • 10 comments

Share this Article

  • TwitterTwitter
  • FacebookFacebook
  • DiggDigg
  • StumbleuponStumble
  • RedditReddit
Author evilcyber visit my website

Losing weight is hard enough, keeping it off even harder. But people looking down on you because you managed to do it, may be the hardest to stomach.

From Funny Reactions…

I just read a story by Diane Carbonell, a wonderful woman who 14 years ago lost a whopping 158 lbs and succeeded in keeping them off.

Diane there mainly writes about a study done at the University of Hawaii, that showed that the stigma of being fat stays with people even after they lost weight, but what really got me was her opening paragraph:

After I lost weight, I not only lost about 25 inches off my waist and 150 pounds off my frame, but I also lost a best friend and gained a bunch of self-confidence.

That made me think back: how did people react to my weight loss four years ago? After I went from 196 lbs (89 kg) to 163 lbs (74 kg), I had many positive reactions, yet one or the other wasn’t very supportive. One I vividly remember is the one by our mechanic, who I know for years, is immensely strong, but carries a liberal helping of extra poundage himself. He also likes to announce things very loudly, including “I gotta take a dump”.

My new slim me one day came to his workshop to drop off my car for a check. He saw me and said, loud enough for the whole place to hear it, “why so skinny, are you sick?” Envy was dripping. I replied with the truth: that I had realized I had been unhappy with myself and decided to change it.

Not very funny so far, I know. But when a couple of days later I came to pick my car up, he took me aside, and, this time very quietly, asked: “how did you do it?”

…To The Rather Vile

One not funny at all came from a friend of my girlfriend. A woman who, I can’t put it any differently, was back then very fat and probably still is, had tried tons of diets and ready explanations why none of them worked for her.

As she got wind of me wanting to lose weight, right at the beginning of what in the end took me four months, she was at hand with about what I had to do and what not. As I this time had my plan worked out and seeing that her own advice apparently hadn’t work for her, I tried to stay friendly, but ignored her advice.

Two months later, half-time for me, having lost about 17 of what was to become 36 lbs, her tune changed. Viciously. Where originally she was liberal with telling me what and what not to eat, she now told me why diets won’t work, how I will gain it all back and that losing weight isn’t that healthy anyway.

Snarling woman

You lost weight …and I hate you for it.

The final straw for her was when my girlfriend at some point decided to drop a couple of pounds as well and me, two months after having finished my weight loss endeavor, being able to keep my weight stable. She dropped off all contact, but not before telling my girlfriend that she was flaunting her new weight. My girlfriend hadn’t even discussed having lost weight with her.

Crab Mentality

People like her are poisonous and not true friends. Because they behave, and I don’t know if crabs really do that, like crabs in a bucket: when one of them has almost managed to climb out, another will pull it back down – if I can’t have it, you won’t either.

A real friend will be supportive of you. A real friend can and should be critical of you from time to time, but his criticism should be constructive. A real friend wants to see you succeed and support you.

We could go on explaining why people you consider as friends behave destructively, and one explanationย is that your failures make them feel better in comparison, but that is a moot point. If they have that mindset, they weren’t your friends from the beginning.

If you succeed at improving yourself, through dropping weight or whatever else, and you lose friendships over it, don’t consider it a loss. See it as the great continental divide between your real friends and the pretenders.

Pictures courtesy of Casey Fleser and Evan Williams.

Help me spread knowledge and share this:

  • Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)

Search

Subscribe to EC

Enter your email address to subscribe and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Most Read

  • teen home workout Home Workout Plan For Teenagers
  • strongman eugen sandow flexing his muscles The Eugen Sandow Workout You Can Do At Home
  • pills Why Bodybuilders Should Say No To NAC
  • woman doing pushups Perfect Pushup Vs. Hands: Which Is Better?
  • How To Do Pull-Ups Without A Pull-Up Bar

Latest Comments

  • No comments

10 Comments

  1. Mo says:
    June 11, 2012 at 8:27 pm

    I think people looking down on you because you managed to do it isn’t hardest to stomach at all. Contrary, i think such situation feels highly rewarding. Haters gonna hate.. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • evilcyber says:
      June 12, 2012 at 1:48 pm

      That is true. Yet when it’s someone you considered a close friend, that stings.

      Reply
    • melly says:
      July 19, 2021 at 1:41 pm

      I have found alot of people have said hurtful things about my weightloss, like as tho I dont deserve to look and feel beautiful and be the the best i can be

      Reply
  2. Moon says:
    June 12, 2012 at 12:58 am

    It’s like stoners and drunks. If you’re not doing stupid s like them, you get nagged till they roll it or get too drunk to be bothered anymore

    Reply
    • evilcyber says:
      June 12, 2012 at 1:48 pm

      Preferably the first option ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Reply
  3. Tee says:
    October 5, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    I’m down 46 and have felt a definite shift in certain people. Thank God none of my close buds, but one person I was close to at work is now holding me at arm’s length.
    It’s sad and unfortunate, because I am the same person, but I am doing this for health reasons (diabetes and heart disease are top killers in my family). This situation kinda reminds me of what happens when you get married. Some friends are so jealous tehy can’t think straight and etiher sabotage you or abandon you.
    When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Yes, it hurts, but life is full of new adventures for you to follow. Best of health!

    Reply
    • evilcyber says:
      October 7, 2012 at 10:16 pm

      Exactly, Tee! All the best to you too! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  4. Hannah says:
    January 8, 2013 at 2:18 am

    Actually, crabs in a bucket won’t pull one another down: they’ll tear each other apart, limb by limb. Sounds a lot like what that woman was trying to do to you – tear your confidence apart with her vicious tongue.

    Good for you not letting her do it! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • evilcyber says:
      January 8, 2013 at 4:23 pm

      Well, I learned something new about crabs then ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  5. Troy Walker says:
    June 13, 2015 at 6:29 pm

    Totally love your blog. This story rings true to my own successful story of losing weight. Not to brag, I am a very good looking guy, much before I lost weight. I weighed 287, and now around 215, at 6″1. I went from husky big guy, to lean athletic guy. People I thought were friends hit me with “are you sick?”, to blatantly ignoring it. One very close friend never said anything, instead made comments like; “I know you don’t want go out to lunch”. Even my ex girlfriend would say she liked the big sexy me, and now I look wimpy to her. I think guys have been the biggest haters. I am a real people person, and I don’t judge or hate on people. I lost weight because diabetes is in my family, and I wanted to be as healthy as I can. When I see very over weight people I can feel for them, and it’s not a feeling of being better or stronger mentally. Yes, people change when you step out of the former you, whether it’s a physical or wealthier you. It’s pretty heart breaking. I am also a commercial artist, with a cartoon design studio. Part of my weight loss came about when I faced the biggest professional battle of my life with Nickelodeon. I am the true originator of SpongeBob Squarepants, and after several rejections of the settlement during the 7year copyright infringement case, my case went down in flames. I tell my story in Liar Liars Squarepants On Fire, which just hit Amazon. This is just to say tbat depression, and stress can play a major role in weight loss as well. Love your blog, much blessings in future blogs.

    Reply

    What do you think?

    Click here to cancel reply.


    • About
    • Contact
    • Copyright
    • Disclaimer
    • Privacy Policy
    © Copyright 2022 — evilcyber.com. All Rights Reserved.

    Evilcyber.com uses cookies

    More info about these little buggers in the Privacy Policy.

    Close
    loading Cancel
    Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
    Email check failed, please try again
    Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.