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Supplements

The True Altruist: Nicole Kidman

All hail Nicole Kidman, who spreads the fine news of better leading a healthier lifestyle out of the goodness of her heart!

Nicole Who?

So far pretty much everything I knew about Nicole Kidman could be summed up as “does movies, was married to Tom Cruise”.

That was all I ever wanted or needed to know about her and as far as I was concerned, we had a quiet agreement with one another: I wouldn’t start doing movies, she wouldn’t start giving out health advice.

This radically changed the other day, as Nicole now is “brand ambassador” for Australian supplement company Swisse. “Brand ambassador” of course has almost the same nice ring as the honorable title of a “goodwill ambassador”, which is occasionally given out by the UN and once bestowed on Kidman as well.

A “brand ambassador”, however, is usually marketing speak for “dude / gal willing to be paid to say we are great”.

Behold The Altruism

Or am I mistaken about Nicole’s motive?  She says she joined Swisse because she “wanted to help bring awareness to the importance of living a healthy lifestyle in a busy, often stressful world.” Which makes me wonder if I could get her to do a bit of brand ambassadoring for me, too, because I try to do the exact same thing, without even trying to sell you anything to make it happen.

Then again I’m really not sure if I could afford letting her feel good about my efforts. But perhaps what she is getting there is not payment for saying nice things about Swisse, but a, uh, recognition of the mental efforts and stress she has to cope with to spread the good message of leading healthier lives.

I’m Clueless

Kidman of course is far from alone. To her left we see Jennifer Aniston, who wouldn’t go anywhere without “Smart Water” (apparently I’m drinking dumb water). To her right Hilary Swank tells us the secret to fame, beauty and happiness is some obscure “Longevity Pak”.

None of them apparently suffer from any serious financial trouble. Because if they were, they wouldn’t be offered million dollar contracts, but would most likely find themselves in this deplorable television show.

I know why employing celebrities to sell products works; what I wonder about and have no answer to is why, without any pressing need, they feel compelled to sell out like that.

Picture courtesy of Edwin Martinez.

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Latest Comments

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6 Comments

  1. Dr. J says:
    December 6, 2012 at 10:21 pm

    I no longer feel that being married to Tom Cruise is all that we once thought it was 🙂

    Reply
    • evilcyber says:
      December 7, 2012 at 7:11 pm

      It probably requires some mental strength and endurance 😉

      Reply
  2. Moon says:
    December 9, 2012 at 6:52 pm

    Evil, maybe the timber industry would put you as their spokesman? All those planks you advertise for free could be making you millions.

    Reply
    • evilcyber says:
      December 10, 2012 at 2:42 pm

      You are right! Don’t wonder if in the future you see my talking about the advantages of Stihl chainsaws! 🙂

      Reply
  3. Frank says:
    April 11, 2013 at 8:12 am

    Hi, I searched Swisse and Evil and found your cool site. Hey, am I the only one who thinks Swisse Vits are fooling a large percentage of the WORLD. I feel like it’s a movie and I’m watching this Corporation selling happy vitimans to the world using big celebrities, then the hook is something like it’s part of the great Culling, in the name of Depopulation.
    Thoughts ?

    Reply
    • evilcyber says:
      April 11, 2013 at 5:16 pm

      I’m not quite sure I understand what you imply.

      Reply

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