They promise you heaven on earth, whether you are looking for shortcuts in growing muscle, getting rid of cellulite, reducing your beer belly or getting thighs to kill for: fitness gadgets. Here are the top 10 most amusing offers.
10. Shake Weight
“This makes me feel like Tom Cruise in Cocktail!” “Gee, hon, actually you look like you…, ah, never mind”. You simply can’t do these lists without at least an honorable mention of the Shake Weight.
9. The Treadmill Bike
“It protects your feet from dirt and other contaminants found on the earth’s surface”. To make this a complete package, I suggest an astronaut’s suit. (This one is actually meant to be a joke – contrary to the others.)
8. Gravity Boots
One health care plan for basal skull fracture free with every pair!
7. Leg Magic Ultra
Tones your inner thighs and may also teach you how to do involuntary splits. Did Mom deserve this?
6. Flex Belt (and various other devices with electric muscle stimulation)
“I zzzt feel zzzt it zzzt working zzztzzzt!”
5. The Bite Counter
“What is that cool looking bracelet you have there?” “Oh, it’s my Bite Counter, it keeps tracks of how much food I put into my face and, well, practically any hand motion that looks like I might put food into my face”.
4. Steelcase Walkstation
“Look, I can now drive my colleagues crazy and get no work done at the same time!”
3. Cool Shapes FreezeAway
“Utilizes science and technology to aid in weight loss”. “Science” probably as in “magic”. Is Mrs. MacPhail’s last name prophetic of the product?
2. Bosom Buddy
“I had the Snoopy nose. I wanted the perky boobs!” is the soon-to-be-classic line this spiritual successor to the ThighMaster is advertised with.
1. The Hawaii Chair
“If you can sit, you can get fit.” Had we only known before!
Picture courtesy of Michael McCauslin.